Camelot's Curse
by Ella M. Nite
Summary: A curse has hit Camelot and now everyone is running around naked. Merlin must keep his magic safe and break the curse while dealing with nudist Gaius, Uther trying to cover up using his crown, and a very, very naked Arthur. All of it while nude himself.


AN: Originally written on my livejournal account (oflittleuse) for Marguerite_26's comment fest "Someone being naked makes them do it". For this prompt: Camelot is cursed with nakedness. Some evil, evil, EVIL sorcerer has cursed the entire Castle so that the moment anything material touches skin, it disappears. The result is everyone walking around holding books and plates and such over their bits. Mostly everyone stays in their room. Except the weather is turning chilly and even blankets and sheets disappear. (Bonus points for naked Gaius jokes.)

* * *

At first Merlin hadn't realised anything had happened. He awoke just as the sun was lightening the night sky, slipping into his clothes without a second thought and began his daily half-asleep walk up to Arthur's chambers. Yes, it felt much cooler than usual and drafty, but with winter approaching and cold weather settling in, Merlin did not pause long enough to figure out what exactly had happened. The only odd thing to penetrate his sleepy mind was the fact he ran into not a single other servant. It was as if everyone had called a holiday of sorts and not told Merlin about it. Not even the cook was in the kitchen to give Merlin a hard time as he collected the Prince's meal.

It wasn't until Merlin burst into Arthur's chambers that Merlin realised something very wrong was happening in Camelot. For one, Arthur's sleeping wear was gone, completely missing. How did Merlin know that? Because the sheets were also gone, leaving a sleeping Arthur sprawled out naked and very much on display. As Merlin's eyes drifted down Arthur's prone body, he barely contained his strangled moan at the sight of Arthur's cock. Blushing a deep red, Merlin barely registered the breakfast plate slipping from his hands until it clattered to the floor.

Arthur sprung out of the bed, automatically grabbing for his sword. As he saw Merlin, he froze, still fully on display. Merlin waited for the yelling, but Arthur seemed too busy staring at him to do much else.

"Why are you naked?" Arthur demanded.

"What? I'm not," Merlin looked down - he was naked. Even more mortifying, he was partially aroused from watching Arthur prance around naked. With a horrified squeak Merlin grabbed the breakfast plate and held it over his privates, wishing Arthur would look away.

"You are clearly naked, Merlin," the prince said flustered.

"I put on clothes," Merlin stammered out, very confused.

"Perhaps I should give you a lesson on how to properly dress," Arthur tried to tease.

"Oh, you're one to talk," Merlin scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur asked.

"Well, you aren't exactly clothed either," Merlin pointed out. Arthur glanced down and then quickly brought his hands down to cover himself. Watching as Arthur's face became a dangerous red colour, Merlin started to back away knowing what was coming next.

"Get out!" Arthur yelled. Luckily his hands were too busy covering everything to throw something at Merlin's back as he ran out of the room accidentally running into both the table and the closet on his rush to get out. Very aware his bare ass would have been on full display as he left.

* * *

"Gaius, we have a ..."

There were some things which would haunt Merlin for the rest of his life. Bursting into Gaius' chambers to find the man preparing tonics in the nude would be one of them.

"Gaius! You're naked!" Merlin exclaimed, his eyes quickly darting away and his grip on the plate tightening.

"Of course I'm naked Merlin, it would seem all my clothes have disappeared as soon as I put them on. Now I need you to run this tonic to the innkeeper," Gaius said, calmly bottling the concoction.

"I can't, I'm naked," Merlin pointed out.

"Merlin, as my assistant, it is important that you be able to work with the naked body," Gaius scolded, entering into lecture mode. "It is perfectly natural to walk around in the nude. There is nothing to feel ashamed about."

Merlin could do little more than stand in front of the door, mouth gaping wide open as Gaius pressed the bottle into his hands.

"Now Merlin, I think I might practice those stretches that are supposed to help alleviate some of the pain in my old knees. It shouldn't be that hard to bend ... Merlin?"

At the word stretches Merlin ran out of the room before he was scarred any further.

* * *

"We seem to be inflicted with some sort of sorcery," Uther announced to the court. Only the men were in attendance, with carefully placed vases and dishes. Merlin wished he could be anywhere else in the world, and from Arthur's expression, as he held his own decorative platter over his bits, he wasn't alone.

"We must get to the bottom of this immediately," Uther continued. His eyes carefully trained above everyone's head as if he were pleading with the heavens.

Merlin wondered when someone was going to tell the King that the crown had some very obvious drawbacks to being used to cover anything ... mainly that there was a giant whole in the middle of it. He was just glad that he had been able to convince Gaius to cover himself up, even if it was with a mostly translucent glass jar.

"Arthur," Uther commanded. "You must rally the knights and search the lower town!"

"Father," Arthur said, "I'm not sure the knights can ... the chain mail seems to disappear whenever we put it on."

"All the more reason that the source is found and destroyed," Uther ranted. "We cannot be left this vulnerable."

"Of course Father," Arthur said awkwardly trying to bow and keep covered at the same time. There was an awkward silence as everyone waited for the first person to attempt to leave. No one felt secure in their ability to cover all necessary parts in front of the entire assembly.

Arthur took a deep breath, getting prepared and then stalked out of the room, Merlin dutifully following behind him. It was not Merlin's fault that he was unable to take his eyes off Arthur's rather impressive and muscular bare arse.

* * *

Merlin dropped his head onto the ancient leather bound book in front of him. Unable to deal with naked Gaius anymore, Merlin had snuck back up into Arthur's chambers. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest thing in the world to bring a book which contained information of the magical variety to Arthur's chambers, but if Merlin saw old man penis one more time, he was likely to rip his own eyes out.

Besides, the patrol would be out for hours. He had plenty of time to research and, hopefully, find a cure in that time. If only his mind would stop obsessing about the fact he was naked in Arthur's chambers. Reminding his half-erect cock of naked Gaius seemed to do the trick.

"Okay," he muttered to himself. "Naked spell, spell for nakedness, nakedness..."

The first one he came across looked promising, yes clothes would vanish when they were put on, yes it was happening to many people ... but no. No the clothes weren't just invisible.

Pinching his arm, Merlin shook his head. His tunic he had put on this morning was definitely not there.

"Okay, not this one," Merlin determined, continuing to flip through the book.

The third naked spell was definitely the wrong one. The spell only happened to one person and could only be stopped by having sex with the enchanter. Merlin suddenly had a deep, fleeting desire to try this one out on Arthur. Especially with the sight still etched into his mind of the prince sprawled out, naked, aroused...

_Naked Gaius. Naked Gaius. Naked Gaius._

"This looks promising ..." Merlin muttered. It looked to be a practical joke of sorts. Using a focus, whether it is using crystal or poultice bag, placed in the foundation of a household would make a whole family run around naked. "But how would it affect a whole kingdom?"

"How is what affecting a whole Kingdom, Merlin?" Arthur demanded as he stormed into the chamber, still with the decorative platter in place.

Squeaking in surprise, Merlin dropped the book. Quickly bending over to retrieve it, he used the book to cover himself as he turned around to face Arthur. Merlin was unnerved to find Arthur seemed riveted on the book he was strategically holding.

"Oh, this book? It's nothing," Merlin tried to lie. "It's just ... a book."

"What?" Arthur asked, finally raising his eyes up to Merlin's face. "What did you say?"

"I was just saying this book is just a book. You know, with words and pages and things," Merlin rambled, his grip tightening on the magic book. "Why? Why are you here? Patrol usually lasts for a few more hours."

"Well, it's hard to patrol naked. Between that and the fact many couples seem to be ... embracing the predicament ... until we know what we're looking for, there's nothing we can do right now," Arthur said, sounding highly frustrated as he tried pacing around the room, being sure to always face Merlin.

As Arthur ranted about naked guards and fornicating couples, Merlin slowly edged his way toward the door hoping to escape before Arthur paid too much attention to the book. He had almost made it to the door when Arthur stopped pacing.

"What's that book about anyway?" Arthur sneered. "You been reading something you oughtn't have?"

There was something predatory that gleamed in his eye. He stalked toward Merlin, slowly, as if he knew that Merlin was frozen to the spot.

"What are you hiding down there?" Arthur muttered, his voice deep now. It seemed to send a thrill straight to Merlin's cock and there was no way for Merlin to stop it. "Come on, _Merlin_, what are you reading about that has you so jumpy in my room?"

Never in his life had Merlin been so turned on and terrified for his life. He was seconds away from Arthur calling for the guards. Suddenly Merlin pictured himself tied to the pyre, naked due to this stupid curse and had a fleeting moment to wish he could at least die with clothes on, when Arthur grabbed the book. With wide eyes, Merlin watched in awe as Arthur simply looked down Merlin's hardness and completely ignored the book of magic in his hand.

Instead the ancient volume was dropped carelessly onto the floor as Arthur reached out and touched him. It was hesitant and a bit too light, his touches fleeting and teasing, making Merlin want to cry.

"All day I've wanted to ..." Arthur whispered harshly into his ear, as he circled Merlin to get behind him. His grip was getting tighter and surer with every stroke. "Did you think I didn't feel it every time you looked at me? The way your eyes would look their fill and leave me hot and untouched?"

He must have dropped the decorative plate somewhere, because Merlin could feel Arthur's cock press against his backside. Whimpering he shook his head and rocked his hips trying to create as much friction for the both of them as possible.

"Do you deny it?" Arthur asked, his hand now brutal and Merlin knew it couldn't last much longer. "Do you deny wanting this, wanting me?"

"No," Merlin cried out.

"And I come back from patrol, back from all those people taking their pleasures, and I find you waiting for me," Arthur groaned, rocking his hips to meet Merlin's, biting down on his shoulder. Arthur's cockhead nudged against Merlin's entrance, and he couldn't last any longer.

"Arthur!" Merlin cried out, slumping back against Arthur, who held him up as he found his release. Shaking, and with unsteady steps, they managed to stumble awkwardly to the bed. There they collapsed in breathless pants, trying their hardest to kiss every inch of skin they could reach.

* * *

Merlin hated having to slip out of Arthur's bed like he regretted last night. But the only way to lift the curse was to destroy the crystal or poultice which was causing it. Between round two and round three, Merlin had had an epiphany. The foundation of Camelot had to be the caves and tunnels; it would explain why everyone in the city was affected.

Several locating spells, one fire spell to the poultice which smelled like Arthur's dirty laundry, and getting turned around twice getting out of the tunnels, the curse was lifted.

Merlin almost regretted getting dressed. He would much rather be naked again in Arthur's bed. The only upside was that Gaius was back to wearing his large cloaks which covered him from head to toe.

He got Arthur's breakfast from a slightly busier kitchen (though still very quiet since no one seemed able to look anyone in the eye). He trudged his way up to Arthur's chambers. Arthur wasn't in his bed, setting the plate down, Merlin was just about to leave, when hands grabbed him from behind.

"You weren't there when I woke up," Arthur growled into his ear before spinning him around for a very thorough and demanding kiss. "And why are you dressed?"

"The spell was lifted last night," Merlin said, running his hands down Arthur's chest and loving the feel of it. His hands travelled lower, more than happy that Arthur seemed to have not bothered getting dressed.

"Well that won't do, I forbid you from wearing clothes in my chamber," Arthur demanded, his voice hitching as Merlin started to pull and rub at his cock.

"What? All the time?" Merlin asked indignantly.

"Oh, god, yes," Arthur moaned.

"Arthur that's completely impossible. For one, winter is coming," Merlin pointed out, working Arthur's cock faster and harder. "I would die of some illness and then where would you be? It's not like someone else can put up with your-"

"Merlin! Shut up," Arthur demanded, kissing him hard and fast.

So Merlin shut up, especially when Arthur slid to his knees and did that thing with his tongue. And maybe Arthur didn't have such a bad idea after all, especially if both of them were naked. Merlin quite liked that idea.


End file.
